|—||John Waters (via writingquotes)|
E-reading isn’t REAL reading. = I need my personal preferences about my hobby to be validated as the only right and moral way do to a thing.
Making crafts out of old books is a DESECRATION! = I’ve never seen a library dumpster.
I only read prize-winners/confirmed classics *sniff*. = I don’t know how to think for myself.
Book bloggers are killing literary criticism! = I’m an aging white man in publishing and I don’t know how to think for myself.
Oh, I’ve never heard of that book. Was it reviewed in the NYT/on NPR? = I don’t know how to think for myself.
I would never read the tripe that is Twilight/50 Shades/Oprah’s Book Club selection, and I am going to tweet that statement 50 million times. = I am still as worried about being cool as I was when I was in high school.
The book is always better than the movie, no exceptions. = I’ve never seen The Godfather or The Princess Bride and also I am no fun at parties.
Rap music is not poetry, but Joni Mitchell/Bob Dylan/Belle and Sebastian is. = I am racist.
I refuse to use an e-reader because I just love that old book smell. People who do not love that old book smell are not real readers. = My favorite perfume’s base note is mold.
People who shop at Amazon for books are evil. = I have disposable income and like to make moral judgements about people who do not.
I would NEVER dog ear pages, crease a spine, or eat food while reading. = I have unreasonable expectations about how much the people to whom I bequeath my books when I die will actually want them.
I guess it’s good that they’re reading at all. = I will internally judge you until your reading tastes morph to match my own, which are far superior to yours because I read more books written by white men who live in Brooklyn.
I don’t have a TV because that would cut into my reading time. Did I mention I don’t have a TV? Hey. You there. I don’t have a TV. I don’t get that TV reference. = I am not all that interesting. Also, I watch three hours of Netflix a night on my laptop.
I don’t care if the main character is likable. It’s the PROSE that’s the thing. = My ability to tolerate insufferable jerks makes me better than you because you’re obviously only reading for escapism, which is an inferior motivation for reading.
I’m not a romance/crime/Western reader. I mean, I’ll read LITERARY genre. SOMETIMES. = My kitchen is full of quinoa and kale and soy ice cream. Someone please validate what a grown-up I am.
I don’t understand adults who read YA. You’re a grown-up person, you should read grown-up books. = I don’t like dancing in the rain or ice cream cones or trampolines or whimsy and my neck tie is too tight.
In case you haven’t heard, BookRiot is the fucking ish.
I work at a bookstore and I hear every one of these every single day. Nobody cares about how highbrow you are, go away so my coworkers and I can continue talking about Game of Thrones.
“I refuse to use an e-reader because I just love that old book smell. People who do not love that old book smell are not real readers. = My favorite perfume’s base note is mold.”
THIS. OLD BOOK SMELL IS MOLD. I prefer an e-reader because I am horrifically allergic to mold, and old book smell triggers sneezing attacks that just don’t end.
This quote speaks to me, because as a teacher of secondary school, the amount of times 14, 15 and even 16 year olds ask me to ‘do the voices’ or say that their parents never read to them breaks my heart
Do you ever get to a part of the book where you get so angry with the main character because he just did something you specifically asked him not to do and now you’re going to have to sit there and watch as he tries to deal with all of the problems that his mistake brought about when, if he had just listened to you in the first place, it would have all been fine?
that terrifying feeling when you are finishing a book and THERE AREN’T ENOUGH PAGES LEFT FOR ALL OF THE THINGS THAT NEED TO HAPPEN.
Bohumil Hrabal, Too Loud a Solitude
|—||Julian Barnes (via herecomessickning)|
have you ever been reading something and completely understood a line of foreshadowing and just whispered “shit”
Lewis Buzbee, The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop (via prettybooks)
There are certain books I adore because of the period of my life during which I first read and adored them, and it’s impossible for me to escape the history when I reads them now.