Beautiful Rule-Breaking Moth

benkling:

Alright, so, my old roommate Hana and I have this game of tag/hot potato on where we pass this Residence Inn hotel key card back and forth.

The object of the game is to stick the other person with it in the sneakiest way possible. When I moved to New York, she slipped it into one of my shoes that had been packed away. When I discovered it, I took a bus trip back to Boston during a week she wasn’t home to plant it in a book above the toilet.

Anyway, on my recent birthday, I received a fat letter from my Alma Mater on official letterhead and found this inside.

HATTIE AND EMMA TAGGED ME AND NOW I HAVE TO DO A THING
Rule 1: Always post the rules
Rules 2: Answer the questions the person who tagged has written and write 11 new ones
Rules 3: Tag 11 new people and link them to your post
Rules 4: Let them know you’ve tagged them! 

Hattie’s questions:
  • How often do you think about the Universe and its vastness FOR REAL?

OCCASIONALLY

  • My father recently dubbed the urge to correct someone’s grammar or spelling ‘the Hattietwitch’. Do you too suffer from this grievous affliction?

YES

  • If ‘42’ is the answer then what is the question? Do try to be original.

If Bobby has 21 baby universes and Susie has 22 baby universes, and they set their universes against one another in a battle to determine the strongest, and there is only one baby universe left standing amidst the carnage of its fallen foes and brethren, how many baby universes had to die in order that this one might reign victorious?

  • What’s your favourite memory of me?

That time when we became friends though THE POWER OF THE INTERNETS.

  • What is your favourite sport to watch? If you compete in a sport, is it the same one?

Oh my god Hattie who the fucque do you think I am. 

Okay fine NAKED WEREWOLF WRESTLING is the answer to both.

  • Owls are majestic beasts; this much is fact. However, I understand that some people prefer other animals, for some reason. What’s your favourite animal?

Red foxes! And cats and dogs and SHEEPS. And baby polar bears and baby pandas and RED PANDAS and corgis.

  • What animal gives you the heebidy-jeebidies?

Daddy long-legs. (I had a dream last night about huge ones jumping on my face BASICALLY TRAUMATIC.) Also the axolotl. 

  • Name something awesome about yourself, then give yourself a hug from me. Do you know what I like best about you? Your face.

My calves are pretty swag.

  • Muffin is to my face as acorn is to —-?

Squirrel. 

  • Do you prefer cake or pie? Please don’t laugh, this is a very important question.

PIE OBVS.

  • I quote things a lot. Like… A lot. What do you quote from the most?

The internet. Yes. I quote from the internet.

Emma’s Questions:

  • What’s the best thing about where you live?

My puppy is here!

  • You design a house. You find you have a surplus room. What do you do with it?

Overflow storage for my yarn.

  • Why are things scented that shouldn’t be scented?

Because we are alone in the universe and there is no god.

  • What genres do you read in the most?

Fantasy,

  • What’s the worst thing about all the samey Fifty Shades of Grey covers?

The fact that they exist.

  • How much would a ‘good meal’ cost around where you are? I wanna take you out.

Probably about $50. (Going by my favorite sushi place, which always tastes like MORE.)

  • Do you watch any webseries? If you do, which and why? If you don’t, why?

I am an occasional viewer of My Drunk Kitchen and the Vlogbrothers and I used to watch the Lizzie Bennett Diaries before I got bored of it.

  • What’s a name you hate?

Murgatroyd. Also, Newt Gingrich. Like, wtf??

  • What would you bring on a hike?

Sandwich, banana, camera, and at least two water bottles (depending on the length of the hike.)

  • Do you like the taste of mint?

OH YES.

  • Champagne. What’s the deal with it?

It’s got bubbles.

MY QUESTIONS:

  • Why do fish?
  • What is your favorite object within your immediate line of vision?
  • What did you eat for breakfast today?
  • How’s everything going for you?
  • So I just read this rather circuitous, too-clever-by-half book about etymology, and it was quite silly and interesting, but it did not answer my one burning question about word origins, which is: How on earth did “pretty” come to mean both “aesthetically pleasing” AND “somewhat”? 
  • Do you have any irrational fears left over from childhood?
  • At what age did you start regularly using the internet?
  • Is there a talent that you wish you had?
  • Do you play any musical instruments, and what are they?
  • I am extremely pretty and clever and not in the least bit socially awkward. Why do I not have hundreds of boyfriends?
  • Would you like to be my boyfriend? If so, please submit a cover letter and resume with at least three personal and professional references.


I TAG:

clottedcreamfudge (yeah that’s right)
cockleshells (YEAH THAT’S RIGHT)
picotlace
mirthmatter
thecatwrites
moon-rabbits

AND ANYONE ELSE WHO FEELS LIKE DOING IT GEEZ I CAN’T STAND ALL THESE EXPECTATIONS

4000dollarhamnapkin:

#the hammer is my penis
cawcaw-mother-fucker:

annatherabidmarmotsqueen:

ratherclever:

OMG
I don’t think there will ever be a cuter picture than this.
EVER.

i showed this to my aunt and she said ´´what a lovely couple´´ and i just 

cawcaw-mother-fucker:

annatherabidmarmotsqueen:

ratherclever:

OMG

I don’t think there will ever be a cuter picture than this.

EVER.

i showed this to my aunt and she said ´´what a lovely couple´´ and i just 

image

raspyeyes:

aww

raspyeyes:

aww